Dear Father Christmas...
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? And the elves and reindeer, I trust they are well, too? I just wanted to let you know that I've been pretty good this year. I've eaten all my veggies, kept my room clean and only passed out from drinking too much a few times, and never in an embarrassing place. I did throw up on the cat once, though, but since she seems to like to throw up in my favorite fuzzy slippers, I feel that turn-about is fair play and if I were you, I wouldn't hold it against me. As usual, in the spirit of the season, I feel that it is more important for me to give, than to receive and with that in mind, I really don't want anything special, please give the gifts you may have in mind for me to some more deserving soul. However, should you feel that I do deserve something in my sock this Christmas, the new and improved version of Christina Ricci would do...



If you can't accommodate that particular wish, then some new socks (black, of course) and maybe a new bottle of black fingernail polish would be wonderful.
I will leave you some cookies and milk this Christmas Eve and some carrots for the reindeer, but, just in case the flying squirrels in the attic eat them before you get here, there will be some pepper shooters and some beer in the fridge.
Happy Christmas!
Yours,
Gregor, the Sad (but good) Old Goth.

wander with me...