BAH..!
You know, in spite of what I look like and in spite of the blather I spew here once in a while, I'm basically a nice guy... I don't ask for much out of life and, to a fault, I've been told, I tend to put the needs and wants of others before mine... If anything, I probably am guilty of, when the occasion calls for such things, throwing some pretty extravagant parties; not necessarily big parties, but pretty elegant, as much as my humble means will allow. If you're my guest and you like a particular libation, I make sure there's plenty on hand; if there's a special food you always crave, I'll have it. When the halls of Stately Sad Old Goth Manor are filled with merry makers, I make sure they are merry, indeed. As for myself, there's a few things I really enjoy; a nice pint or two or ten of Guinness when we barbecue; a special bottle or two from the cellar to go with a special dinner; and, as you may have read here from time to time, on New Year's Eve, there's always caviar. Maybe not the top drawer stuff, but caviar, none the less. It's the one indulgence I afford myself, once a year... So, what do I read in the New York Times today? (yeah, I read the Times once in a while... like Confucius say, "to know your enemy, one must be as your enemy...")
There is a caviar BLOCKADE!!! Some nonsense about sturgeon being in short supply or something or other. Good jumping Jesus up a tree, how the hell has it come to this? Surely, at $9,000.00 + a pound for bloody fish eggs, they can't be in that much demand! And I know that no one is catching those damned things to have mounted to hang on the wall of their den, they look like freaking dinosaurs! It's got to be the damned Arabs! They're the only ones, besides the Long Island Democrats, who have enough money to eat the stuff out of existence! And I know it's not the Dems out in the Hamptons, because, believe me, caviar just does not go well with cheap white wine milked from cardboard boxes... take my word.
So, I guess I shall have to put my plans aside for convincing Mrs. SOG that the swimming pool just has to go and I'll have to open my own sturgeon farm, so I have a sturgeon or two to squeeze the eggs out of for next New Year's Eve! Either that or find a good bait shop somewhere... Just DAMN!!!
what say you..?