I've been told that I am probably clinically addicted to Lorazepam, an anti-depressent.
The same was said about my use of Percocet, an acetaminophen and oxycodone based pain drug, which I've been eating like candy to contend with the constant pain of the bothersome, inoperable cyst in my left kidney.
I know I cannot continue to function like this, although, I must say that the vapor like world I currently inhabit is quite comfy and fuzzy and nice. Some of the negative symptoms of these addictions are not so nice, though, so I've decided to start weaning myself off said chemicals, which promises to be a long and unpleasant experience from what I've been able to read on the interwebs. Some of the experiences I've read about, particularly involving Lorazepam, include myriad uncomfortable physical symptoms, night terrors and something called "end of times syndrome". I have no idea what that is, but if it involves lots of ranting and raving and hiding under beds and such, it might actually liven up things around Stately Sad Old Goth Manor® for a while. I wonder if this is a good time to try to kick the cigarette habit as well? Maybe not.
So, it's off to hide all the sharp, pointy things and see what happens. This is going to take weeks, maybe months. Might be good blog fodder, I can record all the sordid details as I sink further and further into reality...